How to Fight Like a Spicy Latina

I don’t know whether or not you’ve heard this nasty rumor going around about how marketers have “big egos” but, as a marketer who sincerely loves being a marketer, I’m here to clear that up for you. It’s 100% true 100% of the time.

Egos can certainly run high in any office, but it seems like creative is always the most opinionated and stubborn of the bunch. We do not like to hear that we’re wrong or that they’re might just be a better way to handle a situation. We’re much more “my way or the highway” kind of people and that’s always worked out just fine.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “So what, Angelica. You go home at the end of the day and you live your life like a normal human being.” Well, I’m sure that’d be nice but you’re just dead wrong and that’s really all there is to it.

This mentality follows me in most aspects of my life, which leads me to the point of this blog (I have one, I promise). My point is that when I disagree with something, I speak up immediately. I don’t keep things bottled up until so that they come out inappropriately or disproportionately at a later date. My point is that you should always speak your truth and do it fast, no matter how cliché it may sound.

An old boyfriend used to tell me that I was a spicy Latina. He would say that I get all fired up about every little thing and I always took it as a compliment. If something was bothering me, I would make it clear that I was unhappy and if the other person cared about me enough, then they would hopefully want to adjust their behavior so that it didn’t happen again.

Disagreeing with someone is not a bad thing; it doesn’t mean that you don’t care or that you’re destined to be unhappy forever. Quite the opposite, in my opinion; it means that you care about them enough to try to maintain the relationship. Sure, disagreeing on fundamental aspects of your life or too often can become problematic, but for the most part, you work through those minor issues and continue on with a better understanding of the other person.

This goes far beyond arguments with your significant other. Think about your job. When someone does something that you don’t agree with, you become upset, right? You’re probably not disgruntled because they’re doing their job poorly, chances are you couldn’t care less about their attitude towards their job; you’re upset because their behavior is likely affecting your own performance. You’re upset because you care.

Speaking up to that person or at least to someone who would understand, will help you and your teammate get on the same page. At the end of the day, you’re probably not going to convince them that this job is their favorite place to be, but you’ll likely be able to come to some kind of understanding that, at the very least, makes you able to collaborate better.

I knew someone for a long time who would say things like “I shouldn’t have to tell so-and-so what they did wrong because they should just know.” All due respect to those who think this way, but my goodness, how do you walk around with all that unhappiness and resentment all the time? That must be such a burden to not be able to tell people how you feel.

Let me preface this by saying that this isn’t directed at people who need 15 minutes before wanting to talk. I understand needing time to gather your thoughts so that you don’t overreact. This is directed at those who either forget about the incident entirely and never fully resolve it, or have an inevitable outburst that ends up making everything worse.

So my advice to you, because apparently I give advice here now, is to not give up when things aren’t going your way; let it out. Very little good comes from holding in your true feelings for too long. And if you are in any kind of relationship where the other person never has any issues that he or she needs to resolve, be sure to create a safe space and ask what you can do to be better. Don’t make the same mistakes I did. No one is happy 100% of the time and it’s important to rid your life of any resentment because it just doesn’t do anyone any good. You’ll end up wasting time which is just really not cool and you’ll probably end up hurting someone you care about along the way.

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