What is up, my dudes?
Long time, no see, amiright?
Welp, it has come to my attention that I’ve been pretty lazy these past few days (or weeks, or months, or like year honestly), and that’s not really my brand. I mean, to you, it probably is because I suck at maintaining this blog and that’s how you know me. But to those who actually know me in the real world, I’m a pretty ambitious and reliable human bean.
**Don’t you dare come for me in the comments telling me it’s human being.
It’s not my fault you can’t laugh at a hilarious joke when it slaps you in the face.**
Anywho, here we are again. After my second? third? fourth? multiple-months-long hiatus. I’m not gonna promise you that I’ll be around forever, because 1. I’ve clearly developed commitment issues and 2. what reason would you possibly have to believe me after being systematically lied to over the past year and a half?
But, nevertheless, I’ll grace you with this blog post, and if you’re lucky, maybe even a few more after this.
Listen, I know this sounds like rambling…because it is.
I officially have become a statistic and am a part of the 13.3% of Americans that are currently unemployed. I say this like it happened today or something, when in reality, I’ve been living the EDD lifestyle for a good three months now. Life’s rough, man.
Now don’t be too heartbroken, I actually have been having a great time.
Sure, COVID-19 has been running rampant throughout out country.
Sure, unemployment is at an all time high.
Sure, small businesses are dying.
Sure, I see my bank account slowly draining with each passing day.
Sure, our president is a nutcase.
Sure, there are (perfectly reasonable) riots in the streets.
Sure, we’re more divided than ever.
Wait, what was my point again?
Oh right, things aren’t that bad.
Listen, yes, our political climate is horrendous to say the least. With the BLM movement finally starting to make some headway, and people finally kinda starting to take this whole quarantine thing seriously, and the president L-I-T-E-R-A-L-L-Y RUNNING THIS COUNTRY INTO THE GROUND, overall life isn’t too hot.
HOWEVER, personally, I’m way less stressed than I was last year.
Let that sink in.
Maybe I’ll go into a whole story time about what’s been going on in the Age of Angelica (lol see what I did there?), but today is not that day.
Today is the day I tell you that I’m super into food and traveling but like mostly food. So get ready to see more of that. I’m moving away from makeup. It’s sad and I still love it, but it just seems a little too superficial for where I’m at today.
PLEASE NOTE: I’m not saying that makeup is inherently superficial. Totally the opposite. I think it’s an incredibly creative outlet that can help cultivate artistic talent that is unprecedented by other arts. However, I just don’t feel like I have time for it in this stage in my life.
Over the last few months, my priorities have shifted so significantly away from others and onto myself and what makes me, Angelica, truly and genuinely happy.
I’m sure that sounds selfish to many folks out there, and I get that. But I’ve spent a great majority of my life pleasing others and setting aside my joy for the sake of the people around me and I just don’t want to anymore.
Makeup, for a very long time, fulfilled a void in my heart. I wasn’t happy with the way my body was, so instead of working on that, I tried the quick fix and changed my face. Once I got to a place where I was happy with my body, I no longer needed to fix my face; hence, less makeup.
I learned that my body really shouldn’t be my top priority – at least beyond keeping it healthy.
Long story short, I’ve decided that my body is not the most important thing about me. How I look and what my face is painted like that day, does not define who I am. For lots of reasons, this was a really hard concept for me to grasp. Don’t get me wrong, I still love rocking a bold lipstick most days, but it doesn’t serve a toxic mentality like it used to. Now I wear it because it adds to my already-there confidence.
On the bright side, my Sephora bills are way lower and my skin is a lot clearer. I’ve replaced my superficial (again, for me) happiness of body modifications, in one form or another, with genuine hobbies and pleasures.
I’ve started traveling a significant amount. Well, pre-COVID at least, although I do hope to begin again shortly. I love camping. I really enjoy photography. I’ve started posting regular YouTube videos which is my new favorite thing. I cook every single day and not only do I love the food, but I feel so much healthier like I’m nourishing my body rather than merely filling it every few hours. I’ve been spending time outdoors and journaling and reading and listening to podcasts. I’ve sidelined relationships that were no longer serving me and am trying to repair the relationship that I lost with myself somewhere along the way.
Every time I write one of these blogs, I tends to end somewhere along the lines of “I am happy now” and I truly mean it each time. But in the midst of all the trouble we’re collectively facing, I’m personally the happiest I’ve ever been. And if writing a rambly blog every few months reminds me of that, well then gosh darn it, I’ll see you in a few months.