You know what blows? Like truly and genuinely sucks?
There is no Del Mar Fair this year.
Yeah yeah, I know 2020 is a dumpster fire and there are bigger issues to address but a girl can be bummed about the little things too, okay. Don’t @ me.
Anyway, a few weeks ago I saw one measly little Facebook comment saying that a few fair vendors were going to be in Del Mar to grace us with deep fried Twinkies and overpriced cholesterol and you can bet my hiney was there that exact same day.
Listen, I usually go to the fair at least 3-4 times every year and each time I order at least 6 people’s worth of fried food.
Why do I do this, you might ask? Well, silly, it’s because I have no self control when it comes to Chicken Charlies. I really don’t know how to make that more clear to you.
So there I am, my ONE afternoon at “the fair,” and I need to find a way to squeeze in a minimum of 10,000 calories into my body in one sitting to make up for missing an entire summer’s worth of fair food.
Impossible for most.
Reckless even, one might speculate.
But not for me.
For me, it was just another stupid decision brought to you by Quarantine™️.
To be honest, I don’t even want to relive all the garbage I force fed into my body, but hey, that’s why we’re all here amiright? So let’s cut to the chase.
First up, I ordered Kettle Corn. It was meh, but I don’t really enjoy kettle corn so we’re gonna call this one a draw. However, I did snag a yummy cucumber melon candle…from the kettle corn stand??? Why they decided to incorporate candles into their kettle corn business, I don’t know, but hey, that candle smelled pretty dang good.
Next up, I made my way over to the corndog stand. (Sorry btw for not having actual names of these establishments, but if you’ve ever been to any larger-than-a-small-town-fair, you know the ones I’m talking about. They’re literally all the same.) I got a footlong corndog which was fantastic, I must say. The dog was mediocre at best, but man was that corn tasty. Sweet and savory and cooked to perfection. 10/10 worth all 700 calories (estimating here, of course).
In addition to this finger licking good corndog (this is actually a stupid adjective because honestly who licks their fingers when they eat a corndog?), I also got some not-so-great cheese curds which only furthered my crusade against the phrase “cheese curd.” Just sounds nasty people, come on.
As I began to shimmy my vehicle over to good old Chicken Charlies, my wallet began to perspire. Every dollar in there knew that more than one of their buddies just wasn’t going to make it home that day. And well, guys gals and pals, they’d be right.
At the beloved Chicken Charlies, I ordered:
1. Chicken Teriyaki – complete with fancy shmancy pineapple bowl
2. Deep Fried Oreos – the obvious choice
3. Deep Fried Twinkies – surprisingly disappointing
4. Pepsi – I have no idea how this was because it was never given to me
The chicken teriyaki was great. You really can’t go wrong – I love that stuff. Plus, the pineapple was fresh so it was sweet and juicy and also grilled fruits will just always be delicious #HawaiianPizzaForever
The Oreos, again, just incredible. I mean, it’s a lot. Like at least a million calories a lot, but hey, you gotta live a little every once in a while. Unfortunately, all these establishments had limited menus and I was unable to get my truly life-changing deep fried cookie dough, so this will have to do. It was good, way too much for one person though.
Which leads my to my stellar decision to purchase a second deep fried entree: the deep fried Twinkies. 2/10 do not recommend.
As I was making my way out of the glorious parking lot that the city of Del Mar deemed to be this year’s “county fair,” I made one final stop at the cinnamon roll place to pick up a plain old cinnamon roll. Usually I’d get one with apples or cherries or something but again, limited menu, so the plain old sugar bread would have to do. It was just alright – kinda dry.
So all this to say, I’m really missing the fair this year. Like I said, when I think “summer,” I’m really thinking Del Mar Fair and it was just one more thing that was robbed from us this year and it’s really sad but this was a happy little reminder to hold me over until next year when I can consume all this junk food over the span of a few weeks rather than about 30 minutes which really just cannot be healthy for any one human.
Oh yeah, the coolest part of this little excursion was that I scored two free tickets to next year’s fair just for showing up. It was unexpected to say the least, but everyone seemed incredibly grateful that people were there to help support these small businesses that are hurting just like the rest of us and my arteries and I were more than happy to oblige.
I miss the ferris wheel and the silly little exhibits of things I’ll never buy. I miss the smell of sunscreen and frying oil. I miss looking at the new Toyotas and getting henna tattoos. And really I just miss the real world beyond all this COVID stuff.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those people who thinks it isn’t real. I 100% think it’s real and that we should all be taking every precaution at our disposal to keep ourselves and others safe, but I miss how things were and am anxious to see how things will be in the future.
And I miss the stinking fair.